The idea was generated after a
discussion among the members of the Warmate Bookclub about the Tedtalk print
version of “we should all be feminists” by Chiamanada Ngozi Adichie. As we
discussed the excerpts of the talk it began to resonate to our
individual experiences. We decided to take turns and describe a personal
encounter on the topic as it pertains us females in Nigeria. As we started the
conversation, even within ourselves we realized that some of the male members
of our book club were clueless to these issues and some even said it was a
non-issue. That as women we were not marginalized, as long as we knew our
place. We decided to take the topic to a larger audience and decided to tweet
with the hashtag #beingfemaleinnigeria during the lunch break on Tuesday, we
agreed Monday evening but I didn’t think it would attract enough attention so
we decided in our WhatsApp group that lunch break Tuesday was the date. At noon
I went to remind the group on WhatsApp and then I started tweeting using the
hashtag within two hours I had close to 200 RTs, it was wild and twitter was on
fire. .
The key topics were on marriage, sexual
harassment at the work place, body images, relationships, gender specific
roles. The trend gave birth to other trends such as: beingmaleinnigeria,
beingfemaleinghana, beingfemaleinbangladesh etc.
In my opinion, most of these issues
stems from prehistoric preconceptions of gender roles. The woman is a care
giver, a home maker while the man is the hunter and provider. The problem is
that times are changing yet, in Nigeria we women are still expected to evolve
to working women and still support the man in all his endeavors without cutting
us a slack. The 21st century woman, is a superwoman, she works hard
during the day, goes home after work and prepares meals, wakes up early and
gets the kids to school. This makes you wholesome and a role model.
Should you decide to be more ambitious and vie for more challenging roles,
there’s a possibility that our male counterparts would find you too difficult
to handle because you won’t accept to be under a man. To be fair, not all men
are repelled by strong independent women but the general perception is that all
the woman’s glory is insufficient without a male covering ( his name ).
Today, we have females in high levels of governments, parastatal, aviation, and
engineering. Yet, we still say (this includes me: oh wow, she’s a female pilot,
the MD is a woman etc.) women being on top of their game should be the new
perception and the norm.
There are some women, who have decided
especially in Nigeria, who want to take everything from a man. Some make it a
lifestyle choice but that’s their choice as we have playboys (called Babyboy’s
now), we have the sugar daddy set up. These men are not judged yet every
attractive single female at a hotel lobby, or driving a nice car is an aristo
(an escort of some sort?) this is not the default female in Nigeria.
The aim of our hashtag is to educate
and challenge the norm preset mindset and to question the average Nigerian to
think different. Do I expect my man to farm now? Is it acceptable to pay for
part of my wedding now? (Yes) The ambition is one day, our daughters would make
choices that suit them and they won’t be questioned. It would be normal for a
female to do big stuff.
Nigerian females are great! Yeah it’s
our default, we can cook jollof rice, clean, run conglomerates and fly
airplanes it’s not a big deal. This is gender equality, what a man can do, I
can do it too if I choose to.
it created a worldwide sensation .
please find attached some links to further enhance your education or curiosity
...
http://www.channel4.com/news/everyday-sexism-my-experience-of-beingfemaleinnigeria
http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-33239356
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