Monday, July 27, 2015

The hashtag #beingfemaleinnigeria






The idea was generated after a discussion among the members of the Warmate Bookclub about the Tedtalk print version of “we should all be feminists” by Chiamanada Ngozi Adichie. As we discussed the  excerpts of the talk it began to resonate to our individual experiences. We decided to take turns and describe a personal encounter on the topic as it pertains us females in Nigeria. As we started the conversation, even within ourselves we realized that some of the male members of our book club were clueless to these issues and some even said it was a non-issue. That as women we were not marginalized, as long as we knew our place. We decided to take the topic to a larger audience and decided to tweet with the hashtag #beingfemaleinnigeria during the lunch break on Tuesday, we agreed Monday evening but I didn’t think it would attract enough attention so we decided in our WhatsApp group that lunch break Tuesday was the date. At noon I went to remind the group on WhatsApp and then I started tweeting using the hashtag within two hours I had close to 200 RTs, it was wild and twitter was on fire.  .

The key topics were on marriage, sexual harassment at the work place, body images, relationships, gender specific roles. The trend gave birth to other trends such as: beingmaleinnigeria, beingfemaleinghana, beingfemaleinbangladesh etc.

In my opinion, most of these issues stems from prehistoric preconceptions of gender roles. The woman is a care giver, a home maker while the man is the hunter and provider. The problem is that times are changing yet, in Nigeria we women are still expected to evolve to working women and still support the man in all his endeavors without cutting us a slack. The 21st century woman, is a superwoman, she works hard during the day, goes home after work and prepares meals, wakes up early and  gets the kids to school. This makes you wholesome and a role model. Should you decide to be more ambitious and vie for more challenging roles, there’s a possibility that our male counterparts would find you too difficult to handle because you won’t accept to be under a man. To be fair, not all men are repelled by strong independent women but the general perception is that all the woman’s glory is insufficient without a male covering ( his name ).  Today, we have females in high levels of governments, parastatal, aviation, and engineering. Yet, we still say (this includes me: oh wow, she’s a female pilot, the MD is a woman etc.) women being on top of their game should be the new perception and the norm.

There are some women, who have decided especially in Nigeria, who want to take everything from a man. Some make it a lifestyle choice but that’s their choice as we have playboys (called Babyboy’s now), we have the sugar daddy set up. These men are not judged yet every attractive single female at a hotel lobby, or driving a nice car is an aristo (an escort of some sort?) this is not the default female in Nigeria.

The aim of our hashtag is to educate and challenge the norm preset mindset and to question the average Nigerian to think different. Do I expect my man to farm now? Is it acceptable to pay for part of my wedding now? (Yes) The ambition is one day, our daughters would make choices that suit them and they won’t be questioned. It would be normal for a female to do big stuff.

Nigerian females are great! Yeah it’s our default, we can cook jollof rice, clean, run conglomerates and fly airplanes it’s not a big deal. This is gender equality, what a man can do, I can do it too if I choose to.

it created a worldwide sensation . please find attached some links to further enhance your education or curiosity ...











 

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