We had a blast last week participating in the #100women
debate for BBC. It was very informative as it made us ask ourselves questions
that we may never have.
Does being pretty help open doors for us?
Does the society affect the way we live our lives as women?
Who is a good woman?
When someone asked a mum in the group would you let your
daughter be an actress? She said no. We decided that our society’s perception
about actresses made her appalled by the idea without her realizing it (she
said society doesn’t influence her decisions)
In truth, we should be the best version of ourselves and we
should want that for our daughters no matter the profession they choose. Isn’t
this what makes us modern women? All this is easier said than done.
What defines a good woman?
Society, family etc. Is there a yardstick to measure goodness? I tweeted this
and it’s got lots of exposure as shown below. Even a cartoonist made a comic
about it (LOL).
Growing up, my mum’s opinion of what a good girl I was,
depended on me doing all my chores and never disagreeing with her instructions.
My dad was more liberal, he indulged me with intellectual conversations and
allowed me to argue my case as a teenager but he let me know that there was
evil in this world and he had a sense of right and wrong.
In high school, for most part I was a devoted protestant
Christian and my idea of what was good was as defined by proverbs 31: 10 – 16
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble
Character
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
So, it goes on and on. Do you notice
that she is married? (Pressure is on) Single ladies, any hope for us the
imperfect ones, who take pride in our imperfections? Who love our independence
and our sense of self-worth is not defined by a man but by our accomplishments?
A woman needs to be good to be
considered for marriage. How do they
know she is good? The low body count?
Who sets all these expectations?
Society? Family, religion or peers. We can’t ignore these expectations but how
we react to them as women is totally up to us.
Good and bad is about perspective. I
think the lessons learned from this discussion is to be more understanding of
different perspectives and as women we should be less judgmental of others who
don’t share our values. This can be difficult but because some doesn’t act or
think like you doesn’t make them wrong.
Name calling other women etc. is
often perpetuated by women. How then do we expect men to treat us differently? Be
nice today, if you see someone behave differently from you. Perhaps ignore it,
if it doesn’t impact on you directly and if you must ask enquire, proceed with
caution because their response to you may not be what you expect. ( ask the
lady , who adjusted my dress at the airport , I turned back and told her that
she was wrong for touching me . she apologized . She was rude , I wore a knee
length dress intentionally , I knew it jumps up when I move and it didn’t
bother me , why did she need to pull it down for me ? ) we don’t need to
justify our appearance but I must say dress for the occasion (that’s pretty
important!!)
In summary, Be You and have fun, Life is too
short for anyone to define what makes you good ladies …. Be Amazing and
breakdown doors and catwalk in …J
Cheers
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